Horizontal Rain

My Experiences with Golfing in the UK and Ireland

In my early golfing days my friends and I went to the UK and Ireland to play some rounds of the ‘real golf’. We found out that golf over there is basically an extreme sport. The brochure shows sunshine over emerald hills, but in reality it’s me, in waterproofs that fail after twelve minutes, trying to chip a ball while horizontal rain slaps me across the face.

Every round starts the same: “Oh, this isn’t so bad, just a light drizzle.” Five holes later, I’m clinging to my umbrella like it’s a parachute in gale-force winds, while my ball takes a direct flight to Wales. By the turn, my gloves are so wet I might as well be holding the club with two sticks of butter. Meanwhile, the locals casually birdie holes in conditions that make me question the laws of physics. I end up trudging off the 18th, drenched, frozen, and muttering.

It made me think: “Do I have to do this? Isn’t there another way?”

So we tried the Costa del Sol and guess what? Dozens of quality golf courses in an area where the Mediterranean Sea meets impressive mountain ranges. But first and foremost, there was sun! Glorious, relentless, soul-restoring sun. My rain jacket stayed in the suitcase. In fact, everything is brighter: palm trees instead of wind-battered heather, actual sand bunkers instead of muddy trenches, and my biggest hazard is forgetting sunscreen, not hypothermia.

I teed off and realized my ball was rolling down the fairway instead of plugging into soggy turf. No horizontal rain, just a gentle Mediterranean breeze that made my slices feel almost intentional.

After the round, instead of shivering in a car park, I’m lounging on a terrace with a cold drink, sunglasses on, gazing at the sparkling sea. There’s tapas, smiles, and the only thing that’s wet is my forehead from actual sunshine.

So for all my next trips, my brain clocked out on this one, decision made, Costa del Sol.